Our Mothers, Ourselves: Scented Reflections + Mother’s Day Draw

Reflection in the Mirror: Amedeo Modigliani

Our mothers are both our mirrors and our opposites.

Mother’s Day is celebrated on different days and dates around the world, but for many of our readers it will be on May 8th. For those who are still with us and for those who have passed on, our mothers shaped our lives in very individual ways. From Paris, France to Brooklyn, New York, with many stops in between, the theme of style and taste are a scented thread between them. Our “eaux des” to our mothers as written by Gérald Ghislain, Anya McCoy, Ida Meister, Mark Behnke, Mary Beth Devine and Michelyn Camen.

 

JE REVIENS-HAUTE COUTURE-MEMORIES / by Gerald Ghislain, Perfumer

When evoking this wide range of philosophical scents, I am alluding to the intense souvenirs of my mother’s…haunting perfume. Just like the title: “Je Reviens” by Worth.

Typically Parisian, this perfume reminds me of the subtle feminine grace of my mother, and of the way she dressed at that time, a mirror of the pure elegance. Not only is it a reflection of the Parisian elegance but the both floral and spicy”Je Reviens” is also bound to my exotic childhood, beating the rhythm of the Moroccan days full of oriental scents, such as Rose, Jasmine, or Orange. (Self- confident, I recognize myself in the strong and intense scents of vetiver and incense…). Perhaps because somewhere, somehow, I bear my mother’s signature.

This feminine scent which is at the same time exotic and Parisian-like,has inspired me throughout my creations.

Perfumes, especially in one’s childhood, are to my mind, at the very root of one’s passion. My acute nostalgia for a floral breeze in North Africa, or my mother’s dazzling smile influenced me for this French precious know-how… to give birth to Histoires de Parfums.

I believe that “Je Reviens”, which can be literally translated by “I am Returning” symbolizes both the present and the future. It involves repetition, like a sort of leitmotiv to remind me of this fresh and vivid souvenirs. I could say,”refreshening” my past olfactive memories.

“Je Reviens” could be synonymous to an autobiographical book, forming part of my scented library offering a wide range of “perfume characters.

The aldheydes blurr the line between all these scents to create the ultimate fragrance, combining the Mediterranean atmosphere of my youth with the sophisticated and refined Parisian style of my mother, memories of the past, of the present, memories from here to eternity with “Je Reviens”…”I am Returning” to this breathtaking world of scents, which is now animating my ideas…

“Liz” 1966

Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived. -Helen Keller/ By Anya MCCoy

My mother, called Liz by everyone, even though her first name is Anne, like mine, introduced me to perfume and art, two passions I still have. As a child, my mother’s wealthy parents often traveled to Europe by ocean liner (it was the 20s) to visit family. My grandmother Catherine always made a stop in Paris to replenish her perfume supply. At 91, my mother still speaks wistfully of the beautiful bottles on her mother’s vanity. I have picked up on the Art Deco images subconsciously, and I realize that the model I have had drawn for the two Natural Perfumers Guild projects, and the lettering, are Art Deco. To me, that was the beginning of several decades of glorious perfume making, and my mind always turns to that time, and those perfumes.

It was recognized that I was pefume crazy by the age of two, and my mother and her friends would give me their almost-empty perfume bottles to sniff and I would dab away to my heart’s content. I think now what classics I must have been using in the early 50s! When I showed a real interest in art a few years later, I remember my mother showing me how to draw, and I often wanted to reproduce perfume ads or images on perfume boxes. I distinctly remember White Shoulders image, with the lady with the upswept hair.

Mom definitely loved the heavy, sensual scents, like Shocking by Schiaparelli, and Toujours Moi by Dana, but she also could go “green” with Chanel 19, whereas I was a Chanel No.5 girl from childhood (still Deco!). Mom looked in me at puzzlement a few years ago when I was talking about the Internet-fueled crazy for vintage Coty Chypre. I was pronouncing it literally, and she said “isn’t it ‘sheep'” and I realized that she could still tell me a thing or two about perfume. Turns out that iconic perfume was my grandmother’s favorite, and one my mother remembers the most, along with Un Air Embaume. In the past few years, I have been able to obtain vintage bottles, some unopened, of all of the scents she loved, and I bring a little refilled bottle to her at the nursing home every now and then.

Don’t hoard those fragrant beauties…wear them /by Ida Meister, Senior Editor

Oh, Estelle.

Beautiful, talented, tormented Estelle…

It’s two years since you passed; I went through your things, and found all the unused perfumes I’d sent you, chosen purely for your pleasure alone.

There they lay- a clandestine love sonnet to my mother’s former elegance and taste: Vintage Sortilège, Chanel # 22, Guerlain’s Liu, Lanvin’s Arpège of yore. Jardin de Bagatelles, released in 1983, the year B and I wed- purchased for you on our honeymoon. She was saving them.

How Estelle loved flowers, loved her gardens, loved having her once-lovely, then horribly contorted arthritic hands in the life-giving earth. Taurus in the extreme, that woman, and one tough broad.

My father was perfume-adverse, so my mother only wore a few drops when she went out with friends; in later years, after he was no longer present, she couldn’t seem to ‘break the habit’. She would always appreciate the way I managed to “smell divine “, thank goodness. I kept her in Shalimar and everything else I could think of; but it lay fallow, like untilled soil, unable to bear fruit…

How very tragic.

Oh, my dear friends: don’t wait ! Don’t hoard those fragrant beautieswear them! Share them! Give pleasure to yourselves, and others. When we have passed…it is too late. A loving Mother’s Day to you all. Nurturing comes not by birth or gender alone- Those who truly love unconditionally mother us all .

A Mother’s Lessons/ by Mary Beth Devine, Editor

She should be dead several times by now. Instead she’s 5’2” and 138 pounds of “I’ll show you and your pretty dog, too!”

 

She abandoned a dream of a career in science to put a brother through school.

She worked in what’s now termed “investor relations” and found a niche in photography and writing.

 

She taught my kid brother how to swing a golf club and toss a football.

She insisted I learn the ladylike skills of piano, ballet, embroidery, and, yes, tea pouring.

She buried a son in his childhood, dealt with one with a chronic, life threatening disorder, and sent her youngest off to war more than once. Through it all, she kept her pain and doubts and fears to herself and her G_d. She, with rare exception, put one foot in front of the other and just got on with it.

She grew roses in the backyard of the first house I remember. Day lilies, lily of the valley, and violets, too. She cut them on summer afternoons and put them around the house. She insisted that a couple of them move when we did.

Her bureau drawer has her treasured scents – Enthousiasme, No. 22 EdC, Joy in several manifestations, several types of lily of the valley, Ecusson (Has it been that long since I’ve been to Europe?), White Linen, and several variants of tuberose. Mommy, I love you dearly, but please, enough tuberose!!!

She’s had cancer, cancer, almost cancer, an arthymia she blames on her Catholicism, and a dent in her head from a TBI that damned near killed her and took us all along for the rehab ride. By taking us on that one-year roller coaster ride, she taught us not even strength, but rather raw gustiness – the kind brought on by being told how bleak the future might be and being determined to prove the experts wrong.

The staff in ICU told me to wear a perfume she would recognize. I had a signature then (only because I had a beau). Her finger moved even though the rest of her was frozen by a bounced brain.

In rehab, I brought her goodies – bath gels, and lotions. Mostly her prized English lavender and a favorite green tea. She learned to feed herself and walk the same year her second grandson was learning the same thing. She taught me to fight for what’s mine, ignore the small stuff (I’ll find that Hoover someday!), respect the reality, accept it, and carry it on.

Perfume: It Speaks Volumes About You / by Mark Behnke, Managing Editor

I couldn’t be more different from my mother when it comes to perfume.

My mother has only worn two fragrances her entire life; Guerlain Mitsouko and Guerlain Shalimar.

I have worn two fragrances in the last twelve hours.

Based on that comparison you might say that I learned nothing from my mother when it comes to perfume.

That wouldn’t be accurate.

My mother wears those two classic Guerlain fragrances because they are emblematic of how she wants the world to see her.

They show a sense of style.

They impart a bit of luxury.

They are not so unusual that one hasn’t smelled them before but they are not worn by every woman on the street.

To sum up my mother would be a classic upscale stylish woman and, if I asked her, I think she would describe herself as that. Her perfume gives an olfactive clue to the person wearing it and she makes those scents her own. I can’t smell either fragrance and not think of my mother.

What does that say about her son? Well I’ve been described as an extroverted polymath. I would say my diverse perfume wearing tastes also reflect the person wafting his scent of the day and I embrace my perfume promiscuity. On the other hand I am sure there is no one scent that anyone will ever be able to say brings me to mind.

Ma, 1962

The Fashionsita Perfumista: The First Generation “A portrait of Ma”/ by Michelyn Camen Editor in Chief

I still call my mother ‘Ma’. She has Style She has Grace She’s a Lady. All who know her would agree.

I was 5 yrs old in 1962 when this photo was taken; Ma was 25 with two children. I know because she said so. And those eyes askance? Looking at me!

Ma called me ‘her little doll’ as a child, and from grade school on she started to sing our family cheer “I am proud of you song”. She sang it me last month. She sings it my nieces and to my sister.

We didn’t have much money. We lived in a basement apartment in Brooklyn, but even then Ma was THE Fashionista Perfumista (see above). Dad worked two jobs, so she had plenty of time to fuss over me, play with me, read to me, sing to me. Ma dressed me up like a doll. In her eyes I was a beautiful; trust me I was not a candidate for the Gerber’s baby ad. Fast Forward ten years.

I remember she was the most beautiful mother in school. She wore Rudy Gernreich. She had the shape for it. Ma still does. She bought his designs because they looked well on her, not because of the label. She entered the room, and all eyes were on her. At my Dad’s 50th birthday party, his good friend Natie, a teamster told this story, “And who the H^* is this woman with a black hat and peacock feather making such a grand entrance into our Temple; he had a way with words, may he RIP.

Books, music and museums … Modigliani, Picasso, the classics, contemporary novels. Jazz music. The door into the world of imagination was held wide open and I walked right through.

Fragrances of Ma “Riffs”: 1950s-1960s Brooklyn, Jean Nate, White Shoulders and Arpege. 1970s-1980so:Bal a Versailles, Joy de Patou, Shiseido Zen, Calyx.

.Her mother passed, my beloved Grandma away in 1981. And a piece of Ma went too.1990s: fragrant bonding -Bergdorf’s and Barney’s (yes along way from a Brooklyn apt) Together we discovered the original Queens of Niche: Antonia’s Flowers, Annick Goutal and Jo Malone…Heure Exquise, Grand Amour, Amber Lavender by Bertrand Duchaufour (of course I had no idea that Jo wasn’t creating all her own fragrances and what was a Duchaufour). 2000-2010: Penhaligon’s Violetta and Jo Malone Blue Agave and Cacao.

Ma and Michelyn: Mother’s Day 2007

Ma’s signature scent now? Van Cleef and Arpel’s Orchidee Vanille Eau de Parfum. We found it Together.

Editor’s Note: Initially I wanted this piece to have no draw or gimmicks. The eloquence of our Special Guest Contributors and our Editors would be enough. But I was thinking about seeing Ma tomorrow and how much I miss her, so just hours ago I asked Ineke Ruhland personally to offer After My Own Heartfor a CaFleureBon’s Mother’s Day Draw. “Of course”, she said,” how wonderful”. The fragrance smells like fresh sweet lilacs, and evokes the scent of summer in Ma’s garden. No other perfume would do for a ‘lady after my own heart’.

To be eligible for this draw please leave a comment about your mother and her perfume, just wish your Mom a Happy Mother’s Day and if you would like your comment to be counted twice, choose your favorite fragrance from http://www.ineke.com/

To be eligible for this draw please leave a comment about your mother and her perfume, just wish your Mom a Happy Mother’s Day and if you would like your comment to be counted twice, choose your favorite fragrance from http://www.ineke.com/

Draw closes 2 PM EST May 10, 2011. Happy Mother’s Day from all of us at CaFleureBon!

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32 comments

  • What a wonderful commemeration for all Mothers.
    A Mother is the only person who will love you unconditional for ever….what a treasure a Mom is!

  • Michellle Hunt says:

    Lovely article, capturing the unique, deep, and complicated love and fascination we have with our mothers.  Though over the years my fragrance and tastes have become my own, deep down, the scent my mother wore when going out will always be what a real woman should smell like – it was the very aldehydic "Echo", I believe it was Borghese?  Years ago, when I was in college, I purchased myself a bottle of Echo at Coloniel Drug in Harvard Square.  At that time I was trying to become my "own woman", yet back-tracking into the scent vocabulary which had been established in my youth. 
    I would love to be entered to the draw for After My Own Heart.  Looking at the notes, I cannot think of more appropriate scent  – my mother loves lilac, and I love the scent of rapsberry and heliotrope.  And we both love sandalwood.  I do believe this might be a favorite, for us both. 

  • This is beautiful….Happy Mothers Day to my mom and all the mothers out in the world. I hope your day is a happy and fragrant one. When i think of my moms perfumes, the first one that always comes to mind is YSL Opium Pure Perfume (i used to sneak some and wear it…….as if she would not have known that i did, of course she did……….obviously)

  • Michellle Hunt says:

    I forgot to say: Happy Mothers day to not only my mom, but to all who are maternal!

  • What beautiful stories of lovely women!  My own mother, whom I miss every single day, loved her gardens of roses and vegetables. I have never tasted a better tomato than the ones from my mother's garden.  My mom wasn't much of a perfumnista, especially when she was older, and like Ida's mom, only wore a drop or two when she did apply it.  However, I do remember her wearing "Emeraude" and "Tabu" when I was young, and possibly "Moon Drops". 
    As for the Ineke fragrances, "Field Notes from Paris" sounds intriguing to me; also, "After My Own Heart" sounds quite lovely.
    Happy Mother's Day!

  • Elizabeth Norena says:

    My mother wore Diorissimo. I'm sorry to say that my memories of her are not fond, though. I hope that doesn't DQ me! My favorite Ineke scent is Gilded Lily at the moment. I also love AMOH.

  • I remember two bottles on my mother's drawer – Miss Dior and Eau de Rochas. Always when I smell any of the two, it strongly brings the old memories about my mom, her wardrobe cabinet, my childhood, everything. I wish I could spend more time together with my mom and enjoy it. Thank you for entering me in the drawing.

  • My Mother could not afford expensive fragrance . She also suffered from headaches so she'd cherish 4711 wipes and small bottles of Yardley's classic Lavender . Later I'd buy her Penhaligon's Bluebell or Floris's Violet.

  • I enjoyed reading these stories very much, thank you for sharing!
    My mother has worn Chanel N° 5, N° 19 & Parfum d'Hermès, but nowadays she prefers lighter fragrances like e.g. Guerlain AA Pamplelune. Given the fact that she's no real perfumista, her choices have always been pretty good IMO 🙂
    Please enter me in the draw, thank you. My favorite Ineke fragrance is Gilded Lily.
    Happy Mother's Day!

  • Holly F. says:

    I feel so lucky that I was able to spend yesterday with my mother, in an early celebration of Mother's Day. Though she does not wear fragrance often enough now to have a current signature scent, I remember sneaking into the top shelf of her closet to dab on her L'Air du Temps when I was little! I still associate that perfume memory with her, and I wonder what perfume of mine my daughter will remember the most? I do love Field Notes From Paris, my Ineke favorite at the moment, but would love to have the chance to try After My Own Heart. Thanks for the draw, and Happy Mother's Day!

  • Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful mom! I'm lucky to have her still around and loving me and my children! Her scent, which she rarely wears, is JOY and opening a bottle of Joy transports me back to her room and her jewelery box!
    I'm a fan of Ineke's fragrances, love Evening Edged in Gold and After My Own Heart is a perfect spring scent, though I have also been known to love and spritz Derring Do!

  • Francesca says:

    I loved all these beautiful tributes to your mothers. And the photos! How lovely they all are. The fragrances my mom wore were Tweed by Lentheric, and Chanel No. 5 Eau de toilette. I still have her last bottle of it. Doesn’t work on me, worked great on her.

  • stellaglo says:

    roger and gallet's bleu carnation was my mother favorite perfume, and there was always a bottle somewhere to sneak a dab of heaven from. in my mind's eye i see a bottle in the kitchen cabinet, right next to the spot by the stove where i steadfastly watched my mother cook dinner each night (not without aggravating her with my hovering, mind you).  each night i would grab a sniff of that magical scent as i pestered my mother.  now both bleu carnation and my mother have vanished from this earth; what i wouldn't give for one more evening of that ritual.

  • Happy Mother's Day!  
    This is by far, my favorite CaFleureBon blog entry.  I enjoyed reading about each and everyone of your mothers.   Touching, endearing, sad, and happy.   I'm such a sap. 
    My mom's signature scent for the past 20+ years is YSL Opium.  
    Please do not enter me in the draw. 
    ~Dawn 
     
     

  • I so enjoyed reading the remembrances of your mothers. Thanks very much for the chance in the draw (it would by a lovely Mothers Day gift for any mom!) I remember Chanel No. 5 being on her dressing table when I was very young. I think there may have been a bottle of Arpege there as well. I know she had a bottle of Jungle Gardenia. The scent I remember the most, though, is more associated with lipstick I think. There would always be a lipstick blotted tissue on the table. When I first smelled Frederic Malle’s Lipstick Rose, I was transported back there; sitting at Mom’s dressing table after she had gotten dressed to go out somewhere with Dad.
    My maternal grandmother wore Emeraude for as long as I can remember. I can’t smell Emeraude without thinking of Nonie. She was the epitome of a Southern lady. I cannot remember any scent worn by my paternal grandmother; but I associate kitchen smells with her: hot water cornbread, greens, sliced fresh tomatoes and onion— simple home-cooked food. They are many years gone now. I miss them every single day.

  • What a lovely post! Thanks to all of you for sharing your Moms with us.
     
    My earliest perfume memory of my Mom is of admiring her pretty little black bottle of Joy. She gave me a bottle of parfum when I was grown, and I make sure to always have some around. For her birthday last month, I wore it for her. I associate many smells with her – vetiver, pine tar soap, crystal varnishes (evoked amazingly by Tauer Incense Extreme). I am lucky to still have her with me for a while.
     
    I just met Ineke yesterday – what a dear she is! I fell for and bought Gilded Lily on the spot,.

  • yes, i want to add my voice to the ones before me: what a lovely post 🙂
     
    my mother has always worn hermes caleche, and for many years now i've been keeping her in the vintage stuff (edt, parfum, bath oil, whatever i can get my hands on) — and she keeps wearing it — and it keeps being my mother's scent. (i have kept  a bottle of this for myself just to sniff  — but if one day i cannot find another to keep her supplied, i will give it up to her. not yet.)
     
    as for the ineke scents: i love balmy days and sundays 🙂
     
    happy mothers day to all!!

  • I think this might been my favorite post. Just lovely.  I am my mother's daughter–a fragrance fanatic from a very early age. She wore Rive Gauche quite a bit and later she wore Chloe Narcisse–not my thing at all but I keep a mini around to remind me of her. I would love to enter the drawing.

  • Congratulations on this post. I loved it. You had wonderful mothers.
    In Spain, Mother's Day is celebrated the first Sunday of May, so it was last week.
    My mother likes fresh, clean perfumes. She loves Narciso Rodriguez Essence, Elizabeth Arden Fifth Avenue, L'Air du Temps, Ô de Lancôme…  But nowadays she wears Narciso Rodriguez For Her.
    My favorite Ineke perfume is precisely "After my own heart". Please, enter me in the draw 🙂  Thanks!

  • I loved reading these odes to mothers and seeing the photos.  I miss my own mother today because she is 2500 miles away in Canada (but thankfully in fine form).  My mother was never much of a perfumista. I remember her having a very small bottle of Maja with an image on the box of a Spanish seniorita waving a fan, and I remember her dabbing on a few drops for special occasions.  It lasted for years, and I thought it was so sophisticated at the time. Recently I found a very nicely packaged box of Maja gift soaps at Perfume Mendo in Mendocino, and had to buy it for her for the good memories.  What I did get from her is a love of gardens, and especially flowers.  It was in Canada that my first flower scent memories were formed.  She is a really good gardener to this day.  These days she is also my biggest booster, always giving my samples to people she meets.  I find it touching  (if maybe somewhat embarrassing) that she is so proud.  Thanks for involving me in this post Michelyn, and I will happily send "After My Own Heart" to the winner.  I'm so glad you thought it was a perfect scent for mothers.

  • I went to see my mother, Liz, at the nursing home today and told her about the Mother's Day scented journey down memory lane that Cafleurebon's posted today, and she got a lot of pleasure in that.  I'll print it out and bring it to her in a few days.  We were sprayed with MoonDance today, which is her current favorite 😉  No need to include me in the draw, let some other daughter win it.

  • This was my first Mothers’ Day without my mom. I’ve been a bit weepy all day and couldn’t bring myself to dig out the last of her beloved Youth Dew. She tried some other scents over the years but always returned to YD and wore it exclusively the last 15 years of her life. I shared samples and decants but no, nothing else measured up.

    How sweet of Ineke to offer a perfume for a draw. So far, Ive tried Evening Edged in Gold, Gilded Lily, and Field Notes From Paris and I refuse to choose a favorite. They’re all spectacular in their right.

  • The power of scent to transport you back to the days of simple pleasures, laughter and the comforting scent of mother. I have been trying to capture the scent of childhood memories in a bottle for quite some time, but we (and our mothers!) are all so different there is, alas, never going to be a formula to replicate it.

  • Thank you to Gerald, Anya and Ineke for adding to this post. On behalf of CaFleureBon Happy Mother’s Day. This page will forever hold the fragrant refelections of the commentors, the editors and the readers. Thank you for your comments and your time.

  • My mom is allergic to alcohol perfumes so she is using only oil perfumes and scent that was "hers" entire my life was: Japanese musk by The Body Shop. I have it now as well and whenever I put it on, I feel like she will enter the room any second.

  • Mary Beth says:

    Ineke – Hello, Lovely! I had to laugh at how your mama gives out samples to people. It's strange how that pride in us thing can casue us a bad case of the squiggles sometimes. Hats off to her for producing you.
    Anya – What a lovely picture of you and your mother enveloped in a  "Moondance".  : )
    Oh, Tiara….come with me. We'll hide under the lilac tree, sip tea, and trade tall tales of our mothers and grammies. We'll laugh through the tears. I promise.

  • My mom is my toughest critic.  That didn't make me happy many times but I am a better person because of her. I know she wants the best for myself.  Also, she is my best supporter and defender. In my absence, of course. 🙂  
    Diorling is her fragrance. It describes her so well. Only thinking about her and I remember the smell. So soft and elegant and still firm and accented. Nobody is like her. I miss her everyday. Maybe I should tell her that more often… 
    My favorite Ineke is Gilded Lily.  Field Notes From Paris comes next. 

  • Happy Mother's Day to all. Lovely article too.  My Mom still wears 'Joy' Perfume, plus the fragrance that  created for her, Dorobella.  She is a one of a kind lady and both fragrances remind me of her: classy and elegant.

  • This was a very sweet compellation of anicdotes! My mom wore Giorgio Beverly Hill for ever!! Now she wears David Yurman Delicate Essence. She is wonderful all mothers are wonderful and we are all so blessed to have them and learn about fragrance from them!