AI Image of Sarah Baker Pastel Rumours, by Nicoleta
I always get giddy when I review a Chris Maurice fragrance – because, to be honest, nobody does fruits better (to my taste and by my book). But when Chris Maurice joins forces with Sarah Baker? That’s when the things that are happening to fruits… get dangerously delicious. Peach’s Revenge was my last summer’s fling that turned into a full-blown obsession -from the fuzzy blush of the peach to the silky nectarines and the tangy, creamy swirl that made it borderline edible (and totally addictive). It triggered a full-on cute aggression episode – you know, that slightly unhinged desire to squeeze, pinch, or bite into something just because it’s too damn adorable? Yup. That. That is exactly the Peach’s revenge effect, that I have covered, in depth, here. And now, just when I thought it couldn’t get any more fun – Sarah & Cris pull up on Vespas, eyes half closed, mischievous smirk to the side, pastel skies in the rear-view mirror – type of grand entrance and I know I’m in trouble. Again.
Chris Maurice and Sarah Baker, image via the brand
The first one to steal my heart was Rococo Pie – who entered the stage like a courtesan who knows damn well she’s the main character. A hedonistic gourmand with a powdered dizzying décolleté and a beauty mark subversively drawn just above those lips, under the Venetian mask it wears. You think you’re here for the dessert – and, well… you kind of are – but also for the whispers between the rococo-painted ceilings and peach-stained sticky-silk sheets. It’s peach pie and walnut cream spooned over a base of sandalwood and jasmine, melting into milky vanilla ice cream and musk, so decadent it should come with an 18+ (century) rating. And if Peach’s Revenge was cheeky and irresistible, Sarah Baker Rococo Pie is opulent, mysterious, and deliciously naughty – with a smile that says, “I won’t tell if you don’t.” Well, just did, but, ignore that…
The Peach trilogy by Sarah Baker, via the official Instagram page
But then it happened. The second I smelled the other sample, Pastel Rumours, my pupils turned into little cartoon hearts. My ears folded like Puss-in-Boots in Shrek, and I fainted down an imaginary staircase in slow motion, one pastel sigh at a time. Because this one – oh, this one – is all trembling hands, velvet ribbons slipping from tied wrists, and sighs echoing in rooms overlooking the sea. This is what pastel goth dreams are made of – milky, fruity, opalescent, a little bit pale, a little bit pouty – and emotionally extra dramatic in the best way possible.
AI (realistic) selfie-testing Pastel Rumours by Nicoleta
Setting: Coastal Italy, early morning, 2nd of June, 1991
Soft morning light filters through translucent beige linen curtains. A Vespa hums in the background, off-screen, just outside. The camera pans over a marble breakfast table: a half-eaten fuzzy peach, a ceramic bowl of fruit loops stained pink by the milky mess, and a pink lipstick-smudged straw resting in a tall glass of melted pink milkshake. Somebody decided to shave some ginger, last night…for some reason – so it’s everywhere. A spoon is abandoned, mid-sin, sunken into what was once a perfect swirl of custard cream and caramel, now melting, slowly dripping over the edge of the bowl.
Cue soundtrack:
A perfectly lacquered finger pushes the half-peeled off-play button. Siouxsie And The Banshees – Kiss Them For Me – just the chorus -is looping on repeat on the scratched vinyl.
Action: The woman steps into the frame. Silk colorful headscarf. Oversized sunglasses. Messy blunt fringe and colorful pinup tattoos. Expression is unreadable except for the ghost of a smirk, on which she has just finished applying a new layer of neon pink lipstick. She grabs the milkshake, takes a sip, and walks outside.
“It’s divoon, oh it’s serene / In the fountains pink champagne / Someone carving their devotion In the heart-shaped pool of fame / Kiss them for me, I may be delayed/ Kiss, kiss them for me, I may find myself delayed”*
The Vespa roars to life. A seagull screams. The camera zooms in to the table, where the note reads, just two words: Xoxo, peaches!
Sarah Baker, photo via the brand
Sarah’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard – again.
Sarah Baker Pastel Rumours is bright and milky, dreamy and pastel, mouthwatering and delicate, creamy and cute – all at once. If you loved Peach’s Revenge, this is the mellow, milky spinoff with softer lighting and rounder edges. And if you haven’t tried either of them yet… seriously, what are you doing???
In three words: dreamy, fruity, milky
Notes: peach, fruit loops, milk, ginger, cardamom, caramel, orris, custard cream, vanilla, musk
Nicoleta Tomsa, Senior Editor
Disclosure: A sample was offered by the brand, opinions are always my own.
Also, check out the reviews for Peach’s Revenge, Tartan Cask, Flame and Fortune, Gold Spot, Loudo, Rules of Attraction.
Sarah Baker Pastel Rumours, image via the brand
Thanks to the generosity of Sarah Baker we have a bottle of Pastel Rumours for one registered reader from the EU, US or UK. You must register or your entry will not count. To be eligible, please leave a comment saying what sparks your interest based on Nicoleta’s review and where you live. Draw closes 6/7/2025
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