My Father The Perfumista

I often say that my earliest perfume memory is seeing my mother’s little black bottle of Joy, and it instilled a love of that fragrance, in me, that my mother nurtured by gifting me with the parfum. I was mentioning that to her not long ago, and she said “You know, it wasn’t me that got you into this perfume thing, it was your FATHER!”

She went on to reminisce about my father’s proclivity for gifting his friends, and sometimes mere acquaintances, with perfumes (often to their embarrassment) and fancy Egyptian cigarettes, and how he was very stylish and cut quite a figure in a fabulous coat with a fur collar. I loved that story, and could imagine the befuddled friends who were given such an intimate gift by a man they barely knew.  I could visualize my father as a good-looking youth, with curly black hair and blue eyes, in his swanky coat, handing out foreign smokes and exotic fragrances.

A long career in the arts gave Dad the opportunity to surround himself with beautiful and interesting art pieces and handcrafts.  He was a sensualist in that he enjoyed trying new brands of cigars and testing out different vodkas for his martinis. There were always a numbers of fragrance bottles on his side of the bathroom counter, and he always smelled good.

I wish I had taken the time to memorize the scents he had – I would love to find and smell them, so that I could bring him back for an instant.  I vaguely remember Aramis and Royall Lyme along the way, but I know he had fancier scents as well. Once in a while I catch a Dad-ish whiff of something, but can never quite pin it down. He didn’t have a signature scent, exactly, and he had an aura of cigar intertwined in his aroma, so I don’t know if I’ll ever recreate it.

Christmas was when Dad got to shop for perfume for his girls. Because he and I had very similar skin chemistry, he rarely missed when he chose scent for me. I loved finding that tell-tale heavy rectangular box under the tree and knowing I had a new smellie from Dad. I can clearly imagine him at the perfume counter, spraying different scents on his skin, letting them dry down, deciding which to buy. I have always felt that he was not one to be swayed too much by the sales associates trying to push the popular thing on him, which delights me. He gave me scents that were high quality, and could be worn for a lifetime.

One of my favorite scent gifts was a carefully and individually wrapped pile of minis. What a darling stack of tiny presents it was! I had to take a picture of it (blurry, I know, but so cute). Maxim’s, Salvador Dali, Organza, Ysatis, Amarige, Panthere de Cartier – I still have some of these. Dad made me a Givenchy fan. I wear Givenchy very well, even the mighty and somewhat reviled Amarige. I know Dad had a great time choosing these – and I also know that with the possible exception of the Dali, every perfume was chosen for the scent, not the cute little bottle.

Dad made me a "Guerlie" Girl. He gave me gGerlain Jardins de Bagatelle, for one. I wore Jardins today, Christmas Eve, for the first time in a long time – the bottle Dad gave me is long gone. It is a great scent, one I will have to add back into my collection. Samsara was another gift; wearing it always gave me great pleasure. I am sad it is not what it used to be. I have a dab of the original , and it is just like I remember it, rich and interesting.

The last perfume I received from my father was Bvlgari Blv. I still have that bottle, and will have it for as long as I can. I wear it now and then, and it works very well on my skin. I will never use it up, because it is the last perfume, and it has to stay with me.  

I wonder what Dad would think of my immersion in the world of perfume. Would he cluck at how much money I’m spending? Probably, but he would smell everything I offered up for him to evaluate. He would be pleased that I am able to write these stories and reviews, and have them read by so many enthusiasts. I think he would enjoy the idea of making scent friends and gathering together for sniff-fests and events. If he was still with us, I would invite him to the perfume counter with me, so we could share in our mutual pleasure of perfume. As it is, all I can do now is cherish those memories of gifts of scent from a beloved man.

Was a parent or anyone in your family pivotal in our appreciation of fragrance? Is it nature, or nurture?

Tama Blough, Editor

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21 comments

  • Tama, thank you for sharing your treasure trove of memories and pictures of your father. How lucky you were to have a parent who appreciated and encouraged your budding perfumista-hood! The tower of individually wrapped minis is a great idea, and I’ll bet that I’m not the only one who will steal it. 🙂

  • Tama, this was a loving and poignant tribute, which brought up some memories for me as well, though thankfully both my parents are still with me.

    It’s wonderful you got to share this with your father! I can definitely undersand keeping that last bottle.

    Both of my parents are indifferent to negative about scent and don’t see the point at all. One actively dislikes most fragrances. They have come to accept that I am different (like my grandmother) and have on occasion given me scented products that I’ve expressed interest in or that they think I might like. Unfortunately we don’t have similar tastes or, probably, skin chemistry. Having a scent twin in your own family must be great—and a gift-giving twin at that! The mini-pile is darling and the attention given to selection makes it even more meaningful.

    Happy holidays to all!

  • My mother. We always had perfumes around — in the Sixties she used Arpege and Moment Supreme, later Moon Drops. But we had samples, and minis — Avon, Flora Danica, Madame Rochas are some I remember. (My father didn’t like perfume much at all, but that certainly didn’t stop my mother — she rarely left the house without some.) I wish she was here now — we’d have so much fun with it.

  • Tama, I loved the story of your Dad. It reminded me of my Grandfather so much. He was the one who gifted his wife and daughter, my mother, with fragrances. He brought my Mom Diorissimo, and she adored it and still remembers it with love.

    Granddad did not have a chance to give perfumes to his granddaughter, although I know he would have loved that. He passed away when I was seven, and his exuberance, joy of life and affinity for being almost ridiculously generous with strangers (not to mention spoiling rotten his own) was quickly lost amid the overwhelming grief and loneliness of two women and one little girl.

    But nature or nurture, I gave a part of him living in me.

  • Tama, What a beautiful tribute to your father! I enjoyed reading it and loved the family photos.

    In answer to your question, I think it’s hard to separate nature and nurture, since parents who are sensitive to scents and love perfumes probably not only pass on the “good nose” genes to their children, but also immerse them in what you so aptly call a “sensualist” environment.

  • donna s kopenhaver says:

    growing up in rural KY. i remember more of the “farm” smells..i do enjoy fresh mowed grass. tobacco hanging in a barn, smell of hay.. a fresh summer rain.

  • donna s kopenhaver says:

    growing up in rural KY. i remember more of the “farm” smells..i do enjoy fresh mowed grass. tobacco hanging in a barn, smell of hay.. a fresh summer rain.

  • Hi Tama,
    I grew up in a very Matriarchal home – my mother, aunts, cousins…my Father wasn’t really in the picture till I was around 8.

    So my earliest fragrance memories were mixed – Jovan Musk, Chanel No. 19 or 22, tiare flowers and other patchoulli, incense scented fragrances my mother wore. She often went out night clubbing with her friends while my cousins were on babysitting duty (this was 1979 and she was a young, single mother). I remember her scent, putting on makeup and leaving for the night. I know this may be sad for some but this was the building blocks I had of becoming a woman. I couldn’t wait to be a grown-up – wear red lipstick, walk around in clickety-clacking high heels and dabbing the back of my earlobes with exotic scents…
    My mother and I are not very close but we do share the same affinity for expensive cosmetics and fragrances. I thank her for that!

    My father’s scent was very simple: cigarette smoke, herbal essescence shampoo (original green shampoo version) and some type of manly cologne – Drakkar Noir was a big one for him….

    Whenever I come close to some type of combination of that I feel comforted and it makes me miss my Dad. He is still around luckily but just in SoCal.

    This was an awesome post btw…I am easily swayed by childhood memories – good and bad!

  • Thank you, a lovely read, I remain with beautiful memories of my father, no fragrance connection, actually that’s wrong..the smell of the sea on those early mornings he took me fishing, his old well worn cricket bat that he kept in his shed and wow..the yeast as he made his home brew beer! Priceless.

  • My, I am loving these comments! Donna, I love farm smells, too. Ellen, thank you for reading and your thoughts. Alexis, wonderful memories – I was a tomboy, really, but also a glamourpuss, so I have always loved makeup and high fashion even though I don’t wear it all the time. Francesca, see, you came up with a lot!

  • Tama, wonderful tribute to your Dad. Your last bottle is to be tresured .
    My mother was a remains a lover of all things feminine . She sprayed us with her arsenal of perfumes early on from the age of 3 or 4 . I loved her sortilege, Arpege and Chanel no 5 . Today her fave is Donna Karan Cashmere Mist and Sisley Soir De Lune. My dad wore Aramis as his signature . I loved It on him and counted E L Azurée as One of m’y all Time favorites !

  • Tama, such a nostagic memory of your Dad. Thank you for sharing. I wish he is still around so he can hang out with us at our fragrance bar at Barney’s to learn more wisdom from him in the world of perfume. The photograph with you and him is priceless!!!

  • Great post Tama…Love the memories you shared.

    My Mother was the fragrance queen..so lots of scent memories…growing up on a farm many other memories of nature come into play…so both nature and nurture..from both parents really.

  • Beautiful writing, Tama, and a wonderful family story. And I loved seeing the photographs! Thanks so much for sharing it all with us.

  • Tama, this was really a great reminiscence and I love that you shared it with us. I love reading or hearing personal stories, especially when they’re intertwined with family history.

    I feel as though I remember scent always being in the family, though perhaps in the background. My grandmother talking about Norell and Emeraude with her sisters, and her new bottles of Halston and Lauren in the 70s. I vividly recall my mom wearing Ciara and also patchouli oils back then; recently I’ve introduced her to many fragrances and she enjoys Angel, Coromandel, and others.

  • I am so loving hearing all your stories! I wish I could take my Dad to Barney’s! Joe, your mom has excellent taste.

  • Tama, Loved this very touching post. Your father sounds like he was an amazing person! A true lover of Beauty of all the senses, and I am sure he passed that to you.

  • Wow, I would certainly like to have a father like this. But in our family I’m the one who is giving the scented presents;-). I enoy choosing scents for them.
    I like the way the gifto of minis to you were wrapped individualy. Very, very nicely done. I will allways remember the scent of Tabac which my father is wearing most of the time.
    Thank you for sharing this lovely story with us.